I lay her down on the sofa and pose her as if sleeping. I stand, staring at her for a few moments -did I just see her breathe? My eyes are playing tricks on me during these intense moments. I touch her. She feels cold on the skin, but warm through her nightie. I bend over and look her in the face, the same face I touched noses with when I took her from her crate. She is different now. She is my guest - my new companion and playmate - Bianca Realdoll. My heart rate increases as my lips touch hers and I stand up and say to her - not aloud but via a conduit that spans the dimensions between doll and owner - Welcome to my home, Bianca.
24 hours later I find myself continuing to bond with her. Even my dog is bonding with her.

Every time I look at her, I want to walk over and touch her. Perhaps waiting is better. Time to get acquainted. I know of one doll owner who, in two months has not yet consummated their relationship. Perhaps, working slowly towards that special moment when man and doll unite totally, makes the moment even more special. It becomes a sharing of the pathway to acceptance of each other, rather than the dominance of man over woman. And then, when the moment is right, it happens followed by a deep satisfying sleep together. Two entities - one flesh, one silicone - united by passion and fantasy, but united just the same.
So what have I learned? I have learned I belong to a passionate and loving community. They care about people and the world they live in. They are a diverse collection of everyday human beings that would rather make Love...than War. They are for the most part, peaceul people who care about one another and they care about their dolls! There are far worse communities to be part of. I'm proud to have been accepted into this one. I think I'll stay.
And what of my surrogate companions?
My Teddy Babes are the fun lovers. They are my comic book fantasies. They make me smile. They keep the moment light..they overflow with personality...cuddling being their most popular activity....They will always be a part of my life. But Bianca? She has an air of peace and serenity... innocence and beauty. She connects to a much deeper, inner part of me and my emotions. She is a serious companion for my serious moments. She can reach out, stopping the hands of time, if only for a few moments, to bring me sanctity from the stress and chaos of the real world.
Note: Midiman is a composite character representing numerous doll owners interviewed by David Hockey. Midiman's opinions and experiences do not necessarily reflect that of David Hockey. |